Warning: The following post will contain unpopular opinion.
Let me get one thing straight, right off the bat here. I don’t hate Michael Coulthard. I don’t even hate his character “Michael Cole”. If anything, I maybe feel a bit sorry for him.
(I know right? Up until last year, I just assumed his name actually was Michael Cole too)
When you think about the fact that the majority of WWE TV is broadcast after 8pm on a school night, most of the viewers would be old enough to have grown up hearing their wrestling being called by the likes of Gorilla Monsoon and Jim Ross. The thought of comparing Cole to either of them is just totally unfair. They come from a different time and different eras. They were callers of pro wrestling. Michael Cole is a caller of sports entertainment.
Michael Coulthard is a man doing what we all do at our jobs. He’s doing what the boss tells him to do. The changing state of the business towards becoming sports entertainment has been unfair to him as the commentary has had less emphasis on the violence & story telling in the ring, particularly since the Benoit family tragedy, and more towards being fed lines promoting the family aspect of the show with the umpteen plugs for the latest interactive poll on WWE app, for the WWE Network (only $9.99 with the first month free including *insert this months PPV*) or just going into too much detail explaining why the match is happening.
Michael is in a good position at WWE. He’s been with them for almost 20 years. Why would he want to piss off his boss and everyone else involved in the product and go into business for himself? He does that and there’s no way he’d be allowed back on air again.
Jump back 15 years and you’ll remember how good he is on commentary when he was allowed to do what needed to be done. He was calling Raw back in early ’99 when JR was out of action and did a brilliant call on the landmark episode of Raw on January 4th 1999, when Mankind beat The Rock for the WWE title and Raw beat Nitro in the ratings for the first time in years, never to lose to WCW again.
He was also the lead announcer on Smackdown! from 1999 to 2008, missing only the pilot and the live tribute show on September 13th 2001, both called by JR instead. These were the glory years of Smackdown!, where it wasn’t abnormal for Smackdown! to beat Raw in the ratings, despite still being seen internally as their “B show”. There was never any criticism of Cole’s calling then.
Maybe it’s the missing facial hair? Maybe it had some special powers that gave him confidence to make suggestions to Vince that wouldn’t leave him sounding like a tool on TV. At least he wouldn’t look like one.
Just look at that suave looking fellow there. I’d much rather see that face on my TV every week. Hell, if they’re staying PG and want to appeal to the younger crowd, he should bring back the full goatee and frosted tips. That’s what all the cool kids look like still right?
Actually, he just looks like a magician there. Maybe Michael the Magnificent could pull some decent ratings out of his hat?
– Beej –
Drawing Heat Podcast 