It’s Not Just Wrestling.

I’ve been sitting here for the last 40+ minutes trying to figure out how I should begin this particular blog post. I know in my heart what I want to say but when I type the words it just turns to shit because this is about something very near and dear to me personally and finding the words needed to do it justice seem fucking impossible.

But fuck it. Sometimes you just need to breathe, trust, let go and see what happens and in this case also keep it simple. So here goes.

Professional Wrestling has been a part of my life in one form or another since 1985. It was the inaugural WrestleMania, I was almost 9 years old and it was love at first sight. The beginning of a relationship that has endured to this very day.

When times have been tough pro wrestling has always been there for me to provide a safe place where I could retreat and not have to worry about the troubles I was facing from the outside world. Whether it was relationship bullshit, the death of a loved one or my own crippling anxieties and depression.

But a couple of years ago I can honestly say that professional wrestling saved my life. I won’t go into the gritty details but the particular situation I was going through was without a doubt the lowest time in my life. I was having a hard time dealing with things and I was constantly angry. Angry at GOD, at myself and at life in general. It got to a point where I started to question my very existence in this world and wondering why the fuck was I even here. Very few people know this but during this time I seriously considered “ending my watch” so to speak. Even though taking my own life is something that I’d never go through with, it doesn’t change the fact that I had those terrible thoughts and they were very real. The path to self destruction was in front of me and I was in a place so dark that I didn’t think I had any hope of getting out of it in one piece.

During this time simply watching wrestling on TV wasn’t doing jack shit to destract me from my troubles as it had in the past because a) I was too far gone mentally and emotionally and b) WWE television kinda sucked at the time quite frankly.

Even though my usual escape route was blocked, the universe works in mysterious ways and wrestling still found a way to save my ass. I was able to direct all the pent up anger and frustration that consumed me at the time and focus it on something positive. Creative writing.

I joined a Fantasy Wrestling Federation (don’t judge me ok). The premise of this wrestling nerdfest was fairly simple. Virtual matches were booked between 2 “wrestlers”, a series of promos were then written by both participants hyping the match and basically talking smack to one another. Once the promos had been written and posted online the other members of the Federation would cast anonymous votes based on who they thought wrote the best promos. A third party was tasked to write up the “match” and the winner was determined by whoever received the most votes. Nobody knew the results until the “match” had been written and released (trust me it was fun). It was also here where I met my “Clique”, Beej, Nikka and Badstreet and we remain friends to this day.

Here’s an example of the types of promos that were written, with this particular one by me when my character was going to be the special referee in an upcoming match. It’s pretty much just me taking the piss and blatantly ripping off The Rock:
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*backstage, The Dude is talking on his cell phone, but something is different, he is wearing a JUST BRING IT! Shirt with black sweatpants and sunglasses, he also has on some kind of wig and black electrical tape on the side of his head looking like sideburns and some on his eyebrow which is at a weird angle*

Dude: “You heard what The Dude said, The Dude said that! You watch the show? Hey listen, the fact of the matter is this: if Spiller or Scotty doesn’t like what The Dude said, then Spills and Scotty can march their yambags right there to the Yanceydome, The Dude’s home away from home, get right in the middle of the ring, and tell The Dude face to face they didn’t like it. It’s just that simple! It’s real easy, you know that, baby! Yeah! That pie ready? All right. And stop bothering me at work, you know that, baby! The lovin’s gonna have to wait ’till the business is done! Damn, I got a big match to referee! Alright, bye.”

*Dude hangs up, mutters something about Management, then picks up his guitar and starts strumming*

*The Coach is knocking on the door to The Clique’s locker room. Eventually, Dude opens the door*

Coach: “Hey, Dude, what’s going on-”

Dude: “Are you on crack, Coach? Are you on crack!? What are you doing!? What are you doing!?”

Coach: “I just want to get a word with you before the big match-”

Dude: “You can’t get a word with The Dude! That’s not the way it works, you know that! You don’t just knock on The Clique’s locker room like that, the Clique’s Locker Room! You know that! You already know that! Do you have an appointment to speak to The Dude, is that it?”

Coach: “Dude, we go back-”

Dude: “‘Back, bababa, ba ba!’ Shut up, Coach! Let The Dude check The Clique’s Palm Pilot! Ka-kow!” *looks at an invisible palm pilot in his hand* “How’s Wednesday?”

Coach: “Wednesday doesn’t work for me-”

Dude: “Wednesday works! You and your Dude wannabe haircut get out of The Dude’s face! Who cut your hair, Ray Charles? Beat it! Wash your butt!” *goes back into his locker room* “The Dude can’t be dealin’ with that! The Dude has got a very big night, millions and millions of The Dude’s fans waiting for him!” *crowd boos* “The Dude said, millions and millions of The Dude’s fans waiting for him!!! Where’s The Dude’s guitar? The Dude has gotta sooth his soul, The Dude has gotta sing a song!! The Dude has gotta sing a song, baby!”

*opens a curtain in one of the lockers, only to find Twisted sitting inside, staring at him blowing bubbles*

Dude:”…….Excuse The Dude one second.”

*Dude closes the curtain, takes off his sunglasses, scratches his head, then laughs and shakes his head, he opens the curtain again. This time, Twisted is gone*

*The Coach is knocking on the door to The Clique’s locker room again and Dude opens to see what he wants this time.*

Dude: “Go on, Coach, what!?”

Coach: “Well, Dude, I don’t want to break your-”

Dude: “Shut your mouth, they’re chanting The Dude’s name!”

*a couple of drunk guys break into a “Dude!” chant*

Coach: “Well, I don’t want to break your concentration with the big Beej vs Nikka match, but earlier tonight, we did receive a package from The Chairman and COO that contained a video tape intended for you. You want to see it?”

Dude: “A videotape of Spiller and Scotty!? The hell’s the matter with you!? The Dude doesn’t want to see a videotape of Spiller and Scotty! What are they doing Coach? Probably laying naked on a beach, sittin’ there watchin’ Venaskie and Vampyre work out! What, is that what they’re doing!? Like a couple of goofballs cheerin’ on those two spooky freaks, The Dude don’t wanna see that crap! Show it, you probably want to see it! Let’s see Management naked! Ugh, good God!”

*a video package plays showing Venaskie and Vampyre looking dominant in the ring*

Coach: “Well, Dude, rumour has it, and it’s just a rumour, that Venaskie and Vampyre are somewhere in the building tonight, but once again, it’s just a rumour.”

Dude: “‘Just a rumour!’ Who are you, Joan Rivers all of a sudden!? The Dude doesn’t deal with gossip, The Dude deals with facts! And the fact of the matter is this. Fact: The Dude stands before you, and the millions…” *the drunk guys start up again with “AND MILLIONS”* “of Dude’s fans, THE Greatest Guest Referee OF ALL TIME! Fact: The Dude, for one match, has been asked to stand in that ring and watch my two best friends beat the living hell out of each other and call it down the middle. Fact: The Dude is gonna say this one last time, ONE LAST TIME! I will call that match right down the middle and if Venaskie or that crazy Vampyre chick want to get involved Just…bring it!!!” *grabs mic* “If you SMEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLL…what The Dude is cookin’!!!!!”

*Dude throws the mic back into Coach’s face*

Coach: “Umm…ahh…. Thanks Dude, let’s cross over to my broadcast colleagues Mene Gene Okerlund and Sean Mooney”
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Now the fantasy wrestling deal didn’t last too long (politics) but from all this nerdy goodness Beej and I came up with the idea to start the Drawing Heat Podcast which inadvertently led to my discovery of Explosive Professional Wrestling (EPW Perth) with the first show we attended being last years Evolution spectacular.

At the time WWE still weren’t really doing anything for me on a personal level and I had kinda lost my mojo for watching professional wrestling but after the Evolution show, holy shit! I had a feeling deep in the pit of my stomach that I hadn’t felt in a long, long time (and no it wasn’t gas).

Professional Wrestling had given me a new lease on life once again and I haven’t had the feelings that haunted me previously ever since.

With this years Evolution only a few weeks away (with a motherfucking steel cage match main event thank you very much!)

I’ve been in a somewhat reflective mood and have been thinking back on the past year since we started the podcast and found EPW. I have come to appreciate that certain things in life happen for a reason and I personally owe a helluva lot to pro wrestling.

Even though I’ve never been privileged enough to actually step foot inside the squared circle I have the utmost respect for the men and women that call themselves professional wrestlers and hope they don’t take offence to what I’m about to say, but I truly believe that after 30 years of living and breathing professional wrestling that it’s in my blood.

To me it’s not about 2 people getting in the ring and rolling around in their underwear as the old cliché goes, it’s way more than that, it’s a feeling. It’s simple yet complicated at the same time and I’m not sure how many of you will comprehend what I’m clumsily trying to say and that’s ok.

But to this self professed wrestling nerd right here it’s not just wrestling…

It’s Life.

– The Dude
http://drawingheat.podomatic.com

Leave Michael Alone!

Warning: The following post will contain unpopular opinion.

Let me get one thing straight, right off the bat here. I don’t hate Michael Coulthard. I don’t even hate his character “Michael Cole”. If anything, I maybe feel a bit sorry for him.

(I know right? Up until last year, I just assumed his name actually was Michael Cole too)

When you think about the fact that the majority of WWE TV is broadcast after 8pm on a school night, most of the viewers would be old enough to have grown up hearing their wrestling being called by the likes of Gorilla Monsoon and Jim Ross. The thought of comparing Cole to either of them is just totally unfair. They come from a different time and different eras. They were callers of pro wrestling. Michael Cole is a caller of sports entertainment.

Michael Coulthard is a man doing what we all do at our jobs. He’s doing what the boss tells him to do. The changing state of the business towards becoming sports entertainment has been unfair to him as the commentary has had less emphasis on the violence & story telling in the ring, particularly since the Benoit family tragedy, and more towards being fed lines promoting the family aspect of the show with the umpteen plugs for the latest interactive poll on WWE app, for the WWE Network (only $9.99 with the first month free including *insert this months PPV*) or just going into too much detail explaining why the match is happening.

Michael is in a good position at WWE. He’s been with them for almost 20 years. Why would he want to piss off his boss and everyone else involved in the product and go into business for himself? He does that and there’s no way he’d be allowed back on air again.

Jump back 15 years and you’ll remember how good he is on commentary when he was allowed to do what needed to be done. He was calling Raw back in early ’99 when JR was out of action and did a brilliant call on the landmark episode of Raw on January 4th 1999, when Mankind beat The Rock for the WWE title and Raw beat Nitro in the ratings for the first time in years, never to lose to WCW again.

He was also the lead announcer on Smackdown! from 1999 to 2008, missing only the pilot and the live tribute show on September 13th 2001, both called by JR instead. These were the glory years of Smackdown!, where it wasn’t abnormal for Smackdown! to beat Raw in the ratings, despite still being seen internally as their “B show”. There was never any criticism of Cole’s calling then.

Maybe it’s the missing facial hair? Maybe it had some special powers that gave him confidence to make suggestions to Vince that wouldn’t leave him sounding like a tool on TV. At least he wouldn’t look like one.

Just look at that suave looking fellow there. I’d much rather see that face on my TV every week. Hell, if they’re staying PG and want to appeal to the younger crowd, he should bring back the full goatee and frosted tips. That’s what all the cool kids look like still right?

Actually, he just looks like a magician there. Maybe Michael the Magnificent could pull some decent ratings out of his hat?

– Beej –

Why TMDK vs The Solution is Best for Business.

WCW vs the NWO
Austin vs McMahon

Arguably the two greatest storylines in professional wrestling history… but why? It’s really quite simple, they both had a compelling cast of characters telling their stories within an atmosphere of volatility that seemed like it could explode at any given moment. These ingredients combined to capture the imaginations of hardcore and casual fans alike, making them emotionally invested in what they were seeing and leaving them on the edge of their seats in anticipation of what was going to happen next. And in doing so changed the fortunes of WCW and WWE respectively and ushered in the biggest boom period pro wrestling has ever seen.

You may be asking “What’s your point Dude? What does all this have to do with anything?” Well I’m gonna tell you but first we have to go back to the first Explosive Pro Wrestling Perth show of 2016 the Great Aussie Bash. (for a full recap of the event head to http://drawingheat.podomatic.com)

[cue Scooby-Doo dream gimmick]

Rookie sensation Logan Grey made his way to the ring to cut a promo, fresh off winning both the 2015 Rising Star Cup and EPW Invitational Tournament. The latter of which guarantees a shot at the EPW Title whenever he chooses. It was speculated that Logan would address this during said promo but that was not the case. Logan stated that while he had been mentored by TMDK’s Shane Haste for the past 6 months he was not an official member of TMDK, but that was about to change as TMDK had extended an invitation to become their “rookie”.

This brought out The Solution led by “The Messiah” Davis Storm who entered the ring with what seemed like evil intentions as they had Logan Grey outnumbered. Storm though had other plans as he grabbed the stick and proceeded to cut a promo of his own aimed squarely at young Logan.

I’m going to paraphrase here but basically Storm told Logan that the only reason he was offered membership into TMDK (as their rookie no less) was because the current EPW Champion Marcius Pitt represents TMDK and they were afraid that Logan would take the title from them. He also said that Logan Grey would be nothing but TMDK’s official “bitch” and went on to offer him a spot in The Solution instead.

Now this is where things really get interesting dear readers as out come TMDK and as soon as they hit the ring THE SHIT WAS ON!! If you look up the definition of a Pier 6 brawl in the dictionary you would just find a picture of the absolute chaos that erupted here. (go ahead I’ll wait.)

See, I told you didn’t I?

This wasn’t just your stock standard kickass brawl though as something special was happening here. It was one of those wrestling “moments”. The intensity on display generated an electricity in the arena very rarely seen in professional wrestling. The hairs on the back of my neck were standing on end and my arms were covered in goosebumps.

Now I thought that it was just me but when I turned around I found the usually quiet EPW fans (they’re a loyal bunch but lately they’ve seemed hard to impress) marking out just as much as I was. It was truly “wrestle magic” as 300 people collectively lost their minds!

To get a better picture of why this seemingly innocuous angle had such a profound affect on people we need to look a little closer at each stable.

TMDK

Members:
Shane Haste
Mikey Nicholls
Marcius Pitt
Jonah Rock
“JAG” Hartley Jackson
Elliot Sexton
Slex
Logan Grey (unofficial as of this writing)

These guys are an EPW institution made up of homegrown (Haste, Nicholls & Pitt) and interstate talent, they are considered the best of the best in Australian pro wrestling. The ultimate babyfaces and wrestling royalty. If you’re a member of TMDK you are basically a made man. Notorious not only in Australia but around the world, TMDK have earned every accolade that has been bestowed upon them.

The Solution

Members:
“The Messiah” Davis Storm
The Warship
AZ Vegara
Liam Mendel
Amity Row

Led by Davis Storm (EPW founder and legend of Australian wrestling in his own right) and The Warship, (the conscience of the group) The Solution have made the destruction of Explosive Pro Wrestling their ultimate goal. They feel that the EPW locker room has become full of lazy, self-entitled wrestlers who are tarnishing the legacy that past champions like Davis Storm built in EPW.

So in one corner we have The Solution, who want nothing more than to decimate EPW by tearing it down piece by piece from within. And in the opposite corner standing in their way, the golden boys of Australian wrestling and the embodiment of all that EPW stands for – TMDK. The storylines pretty much write themselves here.

Honestly we don’t know exactly what EPW has planned with regards to this feud in the long term but going by the Road Warrior like pop the brawl got at Great Aussie Bash, they might want to drag this out for as long as they can.

EPW seem to be on the ball as they have recently announced that the main event of their next show GoldRush which takes place March 12th (get your tickets from http://www.epwperth.com) will be Davis Storm vs Marcius Pitt for the EPW Title.

This is an excellent sign for this feud as The Solution need to focus their attention on capturing EPW gold in order to further their narrative. That the champion is a TMDK member and possibly EPW’s biggest babyface to boot is just icing on the cake. Having this match is a brilliant idea by the EPW Creative Team.

How then does all this tie in to what I was talking about at the start of this blog? I’ll tell you.

If EPW can extend the rivalry between TMDK and The Solution for a number of months at least with creative booking and exciting angles in a slow burn if you will, culminating with a huge payoff at one of the bigger EPW events (I’m hoping ReAwakening but fussy I am not.) they would capture the imaginations of the EPW faithful who, after each part of the story unfolds would be emotionally invested and be left wanting more.

In turn they will surely tell their friends about this can’t miss wrestling storyline, who will then come and see it for themselves and afterwards end up telling their friends about it, who then do the same and tell their friends etc etc, until not only are the diehard wrestling fans attending the shows but the word of mouth has piqued the interest of the casual fan also, which going by what Nate Dooley told us last year is EPW’s current aim. (attract the casual fans and grow the company)

Take it from me the battle lines have already been drawn in this war between those fans who support TMDK and those who are firmly behind The Solution. The time is now for EPW to capitalize on this.

Flood the merch stand with TMDK AND Solution merchandise so the fans can show where their loyalties lie. It will have a profound effect on the atmosphere inside Bodyslam Central and not only for the the TMDK/Solution segments but the energy will be felt throughout the entire show.

Dedicate as much time and resources as possible to produce video packages, promos and internet advertising in order to promote the shit out of these two factions. You’ve got some incredible talkers on these teams so let them loose.

EPW must strike while the iron is hot and ride the wave of momentum generated at the Bash as far as they can go because while maybe not on the same worldwide scale as WCW vs the NWO or Austin vs McMahon, TMDK vs The Solution could be the company defining moment in the storied history of Explosive Pro Wrestling Perth.

Now as you can probably tell I feel very passionately about this feud and believe it can be the hottest thing ever seen in Australian pro wrestling. If you feel the same as I do or just want to voice your thoughts about it feel free to leave a comment.

– The Dude –

The Crash Of The Titus?

What else is there to be said about WWE’s suspension of Titus O’Neil for unprofessional conduct that hasn’t already been written about everywhere? Everyone seems to agree on the following points…

• A 60 day suspension is over reacting
• Titus probably chose the wrong time to muck around with Vince
• Vince is a grumpy old man

Did there really need to be a suspension at all? If Vince does want to crack down on unprofessional conduct, why does the public need to know about it? In no way did Titus supposedly playfully grabbing Vince effect them. If he wanted to send a message to the talent that it wouldn’t be tolerated, then fining him behind closed doors would’ve been sufficient. The boys would’ve still got the message. First it was reported to be a 90 day suspension, which was then down graded to 60 days, meaning Titus will still miss Wrestlemania in Dallas.

Wrestlemania

When the WWE goodwill machine goes into full overdrive mode.

What does WWE plan on achieving by keeping their most popular goodwill ambassador out of Texas?

And no, I’m not talking about John Cena. I said “popular”. The kids love John Cena, but everyone loves Titus. Sure, John Cena is the most successful celebrity to work with Make A Wish, but what else does he do? Do we ever see Cena out at the Be A Star events? Titus does so much more for the community than anyone else on the roster. He feeds the homeless out of his own pocket and has a Dad Of The Year award for fucks sake!

Now granted that Titus isn’t without blame here. He chose a bad time to grab Vince with all the emotions of Bryan Danielson’s retirement running high and the cameras rolling, but what prompted him to do it? It’s unlikely that everyone standing on that stage was in a happy mood, so anything thought to be “playful” would cause the ire of VKM, but what if Titus grabbed him in a serious way? Is it possible that VKM said something when he passed by Titus that he didn’t approve of? Again, not the ideal time to confront the boss about it though.

But what does this mean for the push Titus started getting over the last few weeks. WWE has seemingly come to their senses and realized that they should probably make a big deal out of this guy who can work as well as being a great public ambassador for the company. I’d say he could be the next John Cena for WWE, but he’s only 6 days younger than him. WWE do have a tendency for sticking people onto Main Event and Superstars when they return from suspensions, but if WWE officials are as high on Titus, as it seems, we may be lucky. WWE have had a tendancy for making some stupid booking decisions over the last few years though. No matter what happens, I have no doubt that he will bounce back from this though.

Maybe Vince needs a reminder of what something unprofessional looks like?

– Beej –

Coming to you LIVE! from Drawing Heat Studios

Hello and welcome to the Drawing Heat Podcast blog. If you are a listener of the show already, well, you can skip the next paragraph if you like.

We produce a little podcast, coming out of Perth, Australia about what we love most in the world, professional wrestling. We feature live event recaps and interviews from within the Australian wrestling scene as well as recaps from international pay per views. You can find us on iTunes, Stitcher and PodOmatic at www.drawingheat.podomatic.com

Right, now that’s out of the way, let’s introduce ourselves.

Beej = The younger, shorter one (who doesn’t look like anyone in particular)
The Dude  = The older, taller one (who looks like Kevin Owens)

Easy to remember, right?

Anyway, the reason we have decided to start this blog… Almost every day, we are messaging back and forth to each other with ideas for show topics, creative/booking thoughts, rants and our thoughts about what is happening in the world of wrestling in general. Not all of those ideas can make it onto an episode, be it because we aren’t recording that week (We live over an hours drive from each other, give us a break) or they may not fit in with what we had planned already. So this allows us to spread our thoughts and musings with our listeners and friends in the business.

So why not subscribe/follow (not sure how this thing fully works yet), leave a comment, tell us what you think and hopefully we’ll see you at a live event somewhere.

– Beej & The Dude –